Our love is deeper than the ocean, it is mightier than the waves.
Our love will out last the horizon, it is more vast than the sky.
Our love out weighs the greatest mountain, it is more dense than volcanic rock.
Our love is beyond this earth’s understanding, it is a heavenly love.
We see as though we shall never part, therefore we will not.
We hold onto each others word, therefore it clings to our hearts.
We don’t allow contention to set a fire between us, therefore our words remain sweet.
We touch with an explainable passion, therefore it is a heavenly love.
Together is where we choose to be, so it is where we will always be.
Together our souls become one, so it is there that we reside.
Together is where we lay side by side, so it is here that we collide.
Together is who we are forever more, so it is a heavenly love.
So it has been a while since my last post, 2 moths to be exact. So much has gone on that it makes my head spin when I try and think about it all… Good, bad, and the ugly I shall say….. It feels as though 2015 was a whirlwind of emotions for me for so many reasons. I had my heart pulled in numerous directions because of my own stupidity from allowing it to happen. So when 2015 came to a screeching halt everyone began talking about their new years resolutions and what they wanted to change and leave behind and so on… I just sat there looking back at the past year and remembering the hurt, the sadness, the heartache, the joy, the love, the craziness, and all the raw emotions that went on. I didn’t want to create a “New Years Resolution”, I didn’t want to leave all that in 2015.. Why? you may ask, Because from all that I learned many things. I learned a better understanding of what it really means to trust God. I learned what my heart could take and what it couldn’t. I learned what it was like to have your heart strings pulled so tight it causes you physical and emotional pain. I learned that I had truly gave something I had been holding to so long to God. So as I examined what 2015 was about I seen that it was a year of change, growth, a year of letting go, and a year of learning to say no. Here we are now fast approaching the 2nd month of 2016 and I can still hear people getting hyped up about how 2015 is forever in the past and how great it is to have a new year with new beginnings, and there isn’t anything wrong with that, but stop for a minute and meditate on what the past year meant for your life…. Did you allow the experiences to change you? to teach you? if not, then what makes this year any different from the past years you were so quick to run from and leave behind? We all have situations and circumstances to deal within our lives and the reason for that is to allow growth. I turned more toward God and His comfort this past year and I allowed that time to teach me. I learned so many new things about myself than I have ever known before. I found strength. I found weakness. I found wounds from hurt. I found insecurities. I found so many things that now I can give to God and He can begin to work on me in those areas, but only because of the events during 2015! So as I sit here and ponder on what 2016 might hold for me I pray that there will be more learning opportunities that I can grow from. I am looking at this year as a year of new growth, new experiences, new situations, new circumstances, and a new me! I have decided to take on this year full force and not allow other peoples thoughts, opinions, and expectations weigh me down! I have decided to only be guided by God and to try my best to leave my emotions out of this years decision making process. I have decided to do for me and my family as best as I can first and foremost. I have decided to not allow other people’s actions(or the lack there of) determine my own actions and decisions. May this year be the year that you will not want to run and hided from, but instead may it be the year you learn and grow from!
So over this past weekend my husband and I finally moved into to our new house. A house that we now call “our home.” After one sprained wrist and many bruises from moving, we are finally getting settled. Spending our time that we have unpacking, rearranging, organizing, and putting things where they belong. Although it seems like a lot, we are still so excited to be doing it. We once again we have a place that we can truly call our own! We once again we have a home that we can make it our own…. finally….. So here we are ready to start new adventures and create lasting memories in this lovely place that we call “our home.” Our excitement is at an all time high knowing of where we have been and what is to come. I can’t thank God enough for where He has brought us 🙂 Every moment that I am away from our home I can’t wait to go back to it and work more to create a place that we love and adore to call ours. Once again we can have family game night and host family functions at our home. Once again we can enjoy a yard and the joys of having our own space. Once again we finally get settled into a place that is ours! Blessed are we to have this opportunity and how blessed we are knowing what next huge adventure stands before us!
The way I was raised I cherish so much. All the memories I have while spending time in the kitchen watching and learning as my grandmother cooked for her family. The smells that filled the air as her food simmered on the stove. The taste of her homemade preserves and the work she so lovingly put into making them. The precise way she made her peanut butter frosting for the most delicious peanut butter cakes I have ever put in my mouth. The tips and tricks she shared with me while she cooked. So many memories I have and will always have. These memories drive the desire to be the women I want to be. The thought of canning, cooking, mixing, prepping, and making food for my family excites me, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. So many things I do in the kitchen brings back all the memories I have standing next to my grandmother as a young child, helping her, assisting her with anything she needed. These type of memories that you create with a child will never be forgotten. It isn’t about the stuff you buy them… it’s about the time and love you pour into them.
My grandmother taught me to love and enjoy cooking even when you have had a bad day and everything else around you isn’t going your way because the love you put into what you cook makes it all the better. She had a rough life all the years she spent on this earth. She took care of everyone and always put herself last. She didn’t have the privilege to attend school because her mother died when she was young and it became her responsibility to care for the house and her siblings while her father worked. She married young and practically raised her 6 children( 5 boys and 1 girl)by herself because she had an unfaithful husband. She experienced the death of her youngest and only little girl who was 8 years old because she was hit by a vehicle while crossing the street (my dad seen the whole thing and watched her die, he still has trouble talking about her). She had people living in and out of her house and caring for them her whole life. All she went through and had to do amazes me.
When she would cook she done it with such peace and no complaints, she enjoyed it. I to have grown up to enjoy cooking. I enjoy the process that she taught me while making her preserves. The time it takes to make the best chicken and dumplings you will ever eat. The way you make the most delicious cat-head biscuits you will ever come across. The secrete to her simple homemade gravy. The way she would prepare and fry salmon patties. So many things that I will never forget and that I will get to continue to pass down. I made my first batch of biscuits and gravy when I was 8 years old and still make them the same way today. I was raised to love food and to have a passion to cook it.
One of my greatest dreams is to own a restaurant of my own one day and to have a menu full of my own recipes and to serve only the best homemade food possible. I will remember always of what you have taught me!
So its only a week away until my husband and I will be moving. Finally going to be back in a house instead of an apartment. Finally going to have our own yard again. Finally going to have our own privacy again. Finally. Finally. Finally. I am so ready to get moved. Ready To decorate how we want. Ready to make it our own. Ready to give our special touch. Ready. Ready. Ready. It feels like it has been forever since we have been in a place that we can truly call ours! Excited about all the changes that are to happen. School, moving, adoption process and only God knows what else is to come our way. So thankful that God is in control and I can trust in Him fully to guide our every step.
As my husband and I crawled in bed I urged him to turn on our fan. After getting settled in I asked him once again and received no reply, he just continued to lay there with his eyes closed breathing so softly. I, being insistent, gently nudged and asked, yet again, to turn our fan on so that we could go to sleep. He replied ever so sweetly, saying “SSSH and listen”…… not sure of what he wanted me to listen to I asked and he replied “SSSH and listen, listen to the rain for a minute.” So there I was snuggled against him and listening, listening to the gentle thump of the rain falling. The longer I listened the more it began to sound rhythmical like it was a song being played. Soon I was overwhelmed with how relaxing it was to just SSSH and listen that I began to think how we just rush our lives trying to get through each task that we have planned from day to day. We don’t stop and smell the roses as many say, but today I tell you stop, stop and listen to the rain that falls to the earth to revitalize this world that we live. Stop and watch the clouds float so peacefully above our heads. Stop and gaze upon the beauty that lies before our very eyes that we so sadly take for granted. Stop, SSSH and listen!