So it has been a while since my last post, 2 moths to be exact. So much has gone on that it makes my head spin when I try and think about it all… Good, bad, and the ugly I shall say….. It feels as though 2015 was a whirlwind of emotions for me for so many reasons. I had my heart pulled in numerous directions because of my own stupidity from allowing it to happen. So when 2015 came to a screeching halt everyone began talking about their new years resolutions and what they wanted to change and leave behind and so on… I just sat there looking back at the past year and remembering the hurt, the sadness, the heartache, the joy, the love, the craziness, and all the raw emotions that went on. I didn’t want to create a “New Years Resolution”, I didn’t want to leave all that in 2015.. Why? you may ask, Because from all that I learned many things. I learned a better understanding of what it really means to trust God. I learned what my heart could take and what it couldn’t. I learned what it was like to have your heart strings pulled so tight it causes you physical and emotional pain. I learned that I had truly gave something I had been holding to so long to God. So as I examined what 2015 was about I seen that it was a year of change, growth, a year of letting go, and a year of learning to say no. Here we are now fast approaching the 2nd month of 2016 and I can still hear people getting hyped up about how 2015 is forever in the past and how great it is to have a new year with new beginnings, and there isn’t anything wrong with that, but stop for a minute and meditate on what the past year meant for your life…. Did you allow the experiences to change you? to teach you? if not, then what makes this year any different from the past years you were so quick to run from and leave behind? We all have situations and circumstances to deal within our lives and the reason for that is to allow growth. I turned more toward God and His comfort this past year and I allowed that time to teach me. I learned so many new things about myself than I have ever known before. I found strength. I found weakness. I found wounds from hurt. I found insecurities. I found so many things that now I can give to God and He can begin to work on me in those areas, but only because of the events during 2015! So as I sit here and ponder on what 2016 might hold for me I pray that there will be more learning opportunities that I can grow from. I am looking at this year as a year of new growth, new experiences, new situations, new circumstances, and a new me! I have decided to take on this year full force and not allow other peoples thoughts, opinions, and expectations weigh me down! I have decided to only be guided by God and to try my best to leave my emotions out of this years decision making process. I have decided to do for me and my family as best as I can first and foremost. I have decided to not allow other people’s actions(or the lack there of) determine my own actions and decisions. May this year be the year that you will not want to run and hided from, but instead may it be the year you learn and grow from!