Half of 50, Here I am!

Yesterday I celebrated my 25th birthday! It donged on me that I am now half way to being 50!!! As I looked back on my life over these past few days I have realized just how fast the years have flown by. I can remember being a preteen and daydreaming about the day I would finally turn 16, like it was such a huge milestone in my life to be 16 and in high school! once I turned 16 I was not satisfied, I wanted to be older so I could have more “freedom” I just couldn’t wait to be 18. I wanted so badly to be grown and out on my own that I “ran away” from home at 17 and stayed with a friend, then a family member, and then a dear friend of the family’s. It was then that I felt grown up,I guess you could say, but little did I know that I was rushing through my life, wanting it to go by faster, that I didn’t get to fully enjoy being a teenage….. I didn’t get experience life as a teen and all the things that came with being in high school……. Shortly after I moved out I meet a man that I have called my husband for the past 6 1/2 years :-). When we first meet we were inseparable, still are lol. Once things got serious I really wanted to rush my life so that I could be 18 and marry this man that I love so much. once I turned 18 we got married 6 months later and by then I had dropped out of high school bc  some part of me couldn’t understand how I could be a wife in high school….. bc it just doesn’t go together lol…… So we got married and moved in with my mom and step-dad for 3 weeks while we waited to close on our house! it was so exciting, here I was 18, a newlywed, closing on our first house! After we finally moved in and got settled I felt as though I was finally where I always wanted to be, an adult. Here I was married, not in school, no job, and just sitting at home all day doing my “wifely” duties. Soon I began to feel like I was loosing who I was as a person. I had no independence…. I then realized how fast I was trying to get through my life! Many have said that I have always acted older than I really am and I guess that is what pushed me to want to actually be older. Although,having that being said, people would often forget how old I really was and would call me immature in my moments that I would somewhat act my age. It wasn’t until I was 19 that my view on life changed and that was when I gave my life to Christ! Then is when I really started living and enjoying what life had to offer me through serving God! So here I am 25 years old and taking each day as it comes. I am no longer waiting to be older or trying to rush my life, but instead I am allowing God to guide me and mature me. Here I am half way to being 50 and loving every minute of it. I work, I volunteer, I go to school, I teach children’s church, I sing in worship, I am a wife, and I long to be a mother. This is me now, no longer trying to just get through my life, but living it. Here I am….. Here I am, I am where I want to be.

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